How To Prepare For A Custody Evaluation
by Dr. Reena Sommer
Custody
evaluations are very important in
determining child custody and
access during contested divorce
proceedings. Divorce courts give
considerable weight to the
recommendations of the evaluator.
Below are some guidelines that will
assist when you prepare for your
custody evaluation with the
expectation of ending your custody
battle.
-
Arrive on time at your custody
evaluation interview.
-
Dress neatly and conservatively.
-
Be honest. The custody evaluator
will likely check out your
statements with collaterals and/or
other sources.
-
If the custody evaluator chooses to
use psychological testing,
ABSOLUTELY answer honestly. The
tests are designed to detect
defensiveness and lies and unless
you are an expert in psychometric
testing, you are unlikely to fool
them.
-
Be sincere. The custody evaluator
can usually detect over
embellishment and insincerity.
-
It's alright to be nervous; most
people are.
-
It's alright to cry and/or show
emotion; many people do.
-
Answer questions directly and to
the point.
-
Make sure you pay attention to what
the evaluator is asking.
-
Take your time when answering a
question. If you do not understand
what is being asked, feel free to
ask the evaluator to explain what
he/she means.
-
If the custody evaluator asks that
you provide additional
documentation, do so as promptly as
possible or communicate any
concerns about getting it.
-
If you provide the custody
evaluator with names of
collaterals, it is a good idea to
inform them in advance that they
may be contacted so that they can
prepare to speak on your behalf.
-
If the custody evaluator is
observing you with your child(ren),
be attentive to their needs and
focus on their interests and not
yours.
-
Present yourself as being
reasonable and placing the concerns
of your child(ren) above all.
The following is a list of things
to avoid doing during a custody and
access evaluation...
-
DO NOT speak badly of your
spouse/partner unless the custody
evaluator asks you to comment on
what you perceive to be the
problems between you.
-
DO not make threatening comments
about your spouse/partner or anyone
else to the evaluator.
-
DO NOT harass the custody evaluator
with phone calls.
-
DO NOT drop by the evaluator's
office without an appointment.
-
DO NOT call the custody evaluator
to see if the report is completed.
-
DO NOT prep your child(ren) to say
negative things about their other
parent. The custody evaluator has
ways of telling if this has
happened.
-
Custody evaluators recognize the
stress people are under during this
process and take this into account
when assessing family members.
-
If
you are feeling stressed and
anxious, it is all right to
acknowledge it and allow the
custody evaluator to help allay
some of your concerns.
Custody evaluators recognizes that
there are no perfect parents and
his or her recommendations should
be directed at determining the best
parenting arrangement to meet your child(ren)'s needs.
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